Week 6: Finding My Groove

The last couple weeks have been a learning curve of sorts.  I am still figuring out the balance between momming – training – writing – wife’ing but within each of those is another balancing act in itself.   While I LIKE to have some kind of outside activity to do with the girls, the heat makes that pretty difficult and throw in some summer showers and we just can’t win.

Luckily a friend invited us for a play date at Sky Zone and I didn’t realize how perfect that place is!  $20 for an hour and it’s toddler specific time so no big kids shoving around… it really offered us that little break we need… but it starts at 9… which means I had to get myself and the kids fed, dressed and on the road for our run to be finished by 8 to allow me time to cool off, shower and off to Sky Zone… you can imagine by the time we are done… I’m pretty exhausted.   The plus is, it’s fun!  I like getting to do something with them that honestly feels good after a long run.   We’ve gone several times since.

I did hit, yet another road block last week.  We’ve had a lot of outside stresses that I haven’t been able to fully push out of my mind to focus on running.  I make myself think I’m tired a lot faster than I am.  Also, since I am running longer distances, I probably AM gassing out faster than I normally would.  My pace is steady, which is great, but running 5 plus miles every other day is not making my body happy.  Some people CAN do that and I completely envy them, but I need more recovery time.

SO!  I decided to run every 2 days instead and it REALLY made this weeks so much better.  I exceeded my goal (with achy knees and ice packs at the ready) and just did workouts on the off days either at the gym (where I have now increased my weights by 30-50 lbs depending on the machine) .  Leaving today, my “rest” day.

I use that term loosely because there’s really no such thing as rest in my house… unless you’re Daisy… or my kids who (Thank you sweet baby Jesus) still takes naps.  Today, I did not workout at all, rather I bleached tile and did laundry and washed bedding and defrosted meat for lunch and started a list for our beach vacation “To Do’s” – which I’ll probably forget most because it’s me… but lists make me at least feel like I’m attempting to have my shit together.

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After all the lame mom stuff, we went to the zoo and strolled through the humidity, sloshed through the mud and came home just in time for lunch and those glorious naps that allow me at least an hour and a half of peace and quiet so I can work on editing my manuscript.  I got it back from my editor a little over a week ago and I’ve been steady making some changes here and there to, hopefully, strengthen it and have it “agent” or “publisher” level.

Please.

It’s already starting to rain again, which timed out nicely (for once) and I can do some editing on the patio which helps me to relax and just clear my mind and fall back into the words the way I need to.  It feels really good to still love a story that I completed months ago and I have had several test readers aside from my editor go over it as well.  Writing a book is a long, tedious process which doesn’t typically bode well with my personality.  I don’t really like not having control over the outcome or timing of this, but I’ve learned through writing my first book that I truly don’t care about being this famous author… I care about whoever DOES read it… enjoying it.  I love to create.  And I like to think I’ve accomplished that.  So, I have a timeframe in mind of how long I’ll wait after reaching out to as many agents as I can, and if nothing, I’ll go ahead and publish myself again.  As stressful as that was, seeing the finished product that I created and still receiving such amazing feedback is all I could ever need.DSC09706

In the meantime, I’ll keep on with this crazy rollercoaster of life because I also know that I enjoy the chaos.  I love that our days are full and each one ends with a deep sigh and a hefty glass of wine… or two.  I never want to look back and wish I had done more.  More for myself, for my kids, for my husband.  But, I also don’t want to become the kind of exhausted where I do so much that I make myself miserable.  So, for now, this is what I can do, happily that fulfills me and gives each of us something that makes us feel we had something for “me”.

I don’t know how much training will get done during our vacation, however that’s ok.  It’s a few days where we NEED to relax as a family and I can just pick back up and hopefully get back to the grind next week!  I hope everyone is having a happy and fulfilled summer and that whatever struggled you may be having this week, you find the balance in it.