Making Friends.

Allow me to tell you a little story.

Once there was a little girl who was incredibly shy and a mother who always found new ways to make an ass of herself.  Fortunately, the mother had managed to make, and keep some pretty solid friends over the years and despite herself, started feeling more confident about her horrific attempts at small talk due to her own shyness.

However, starting preschool was a whole new ball game.  Not only did the little girl need to step outside of her own comfort zone, but so did the mother.  Alas, the little monster made it to class and immediately fell in love.  She began opening up in ways her parents never thought she would and the whole experience had been amazing.  The mother even made a couple new mom friends and proved to herself that she could come off friendly and adulty if she really put her mind to it!

It’s been a glorious time for all!

Over the last several weeks, the little girl had been mentioning a friend she’d made.  They played games, she commented on different things the little girl talked about, oogled over her “Show and Tell” item… which was scoring double points for her parents because not only was she loving school, but actually making friends!  Because up until that point, every time they asked their daughter how her day was and if she’d played with any friends her responses were always quite vague…


I don’t think so.

I did! (OH!  who did you play with?!) I don’t know.

One crisp, beautiful morning, the mother was getting her children dressed to go for her run when her daughter says, “Mom, my friend has light up shoes.  I think I would like light up shoes, too!  We should go to the store and get some like her!”

The mother was not about to go buy a pair of shoes, but the idea that her child adored the little school friend so much was so touching that she thought to herself, “If this is a victory to me, maybe it would be for the other mom, too!  Surely, other parents struggle with knowing what their kids do at school, possibly getting the same weird responses we do.  Shoot her a text!”

This is another “outside the comfort zone” thing.  The mother had not met this particular parent yet, and wasn’t even sure who the little girl was, but she was feeling positive.  The caffeine had kicked in and she was high on bleach fumes… why the hell not!  So, she dug out the class list that held all the names and addresses of the kids/parents in the class and she found the number!  She let the other mom know who she was, and her child’s name, and that she thought it was so sweet how her daughter had made a friend and thought so highly of her to want light up shoes too and hoped they were enjoying their experience with preschool as much as her own child was.


Feelin’ good.  All parenty.  This could be the start to another fun friendship.  Awesome!

Not really.

The parent responds – also touched by their sweet friendship, and glad her daughter was being the type of kid that actually plays well with others. (Every parent’s personal victory)  – but her daughter does not, in fact, have light up shoes.

Now, let me get one thing straight.  This is not about light up shoes.  This is about the overthinking Mom A is now doing about being the weirdo who texts a stranger about her child’s attractive footwear that she DOES NOT HAVE.  So, now she thinks “Shit, now I’m that asshole who looks like she’s sending fake news to someone just to inject herself into their lives.”

Her child is not a loner… she has the ability to go out into the world and make friends on her own!  May be a pathological liar… but that’s beside the point.

She didn’t want to sell her anything.  Just wanted to let her know that her kid is nice and makes other kids feel good about going to school.  And now she’s just going to obsess over being a weirdo for a good five years… possibly longer.

Spoiler alert:  It was me.  I’m the weirdo.

Thanks for making me look like an idiot, Cori.