This Is 30

I often wondered just how different life would be once I turned 30.  The excessive sweating can definitely be blamed on the children.  I’ll go ahead and throw the wrinkles, frequent peeing and dark circles on them too.  But 30 – ahh, you’re going to get way more praise than you thought you deserved.

Let me start this by saying, my 20s were pretty damn awesome.  I squeezed a lot of life in that decade!  I realized that I won’t die if I drink an entire bottle of Jagermeister (although I won’t ever…EVER do it again).  I also met some of my closest friends, as well as my husband.  I learned that the phrase “like riding a bike” – doesn’t always coincide with something “easy”.  I got married, had some babies, bought 2 houses, and wrote a book.  My 20s were tha shit!


They are also exhausting.  We spend much of our 20s (college years) trying to “find ourselves” and figure out who the hell we are, who we want to be, what kind of friends we like or don’t.  We teach ourselves proper social skills that don’t involve having a cheap beer in one hand and a ping pong ball in the other.  Most of us find our first career- job.  We are (well not all of us, but you catch my drift) cutting the cord from our parents, much to their relief and start learning all that real life shit!  Spreading our little wobbly wings and learning to fly!

We are picking up responsibilities here and there, but nothing REAL yet, so we still try to present our best selves outwardly.  We are walking pageant dolls.  All.  Damn. Day.  And.  Night.  We work all day and party all night with the whole FOMO thing going on.  We can eat horribly, but we see those pictures of Victoria’s Secret models on the windows in the mall (because we still go to the mall) and immediately toss our cinnabons in the trash.

But once we hit that big 3-0… we just stop giving all F’s about it.

Now, yes, we try our damnedest to stay in shape, most of us losing baby weight.  We realize we can only eat lettuce, a baby carrot and a wedge of broccoli if we want to not feel bloated for the next 3 days.  BUT – we will rage out on some mexican food because we deserve it – not just because we can like in the 20s… but because we literally need it for our souls.  We desperately work to find the right night creams and adult acne treatments.  We listen to the reports about how we need to go organic because hormones are bad (tell me about it) and sugar is bad and crabs are soooo good, but also bad.  Pretty much everything we love and depended on up to this point, is bad or causes cancer.  I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know what channel the news came on during my 20s.

We all realize how much our lifeblood is wine, but so is coffee (I don’t drink coffee though, but my pre workout is now pretty much a staple in my daily life).  We realize we have nothing to prove and if we want to sit on our couch and rewatch the entire series of Game of Thrones on a Friday night, we will DO it… WHILE eating all the (organic) fruit snacks.  Shit starts to sag where it didn’t before… we are more forgetful because THIS decade is the REAL deal.  We have way more responsibilities.  If there’s kids, they are expensive AF – they don’t stop growing so the second you buy a pair of shoes, they don’t fit by the time you leave the parking lot.  Preschool tuition is a bitch.  Then you have to like, teach them stuff, like not to talk about the color of poop in the middle of Target and how to say meat STicks instead of meat Dicks… that’s a whole other blog post.

ANYWAY – I have learned as my year of 30 is coming to a close.  That I freakin LOVED it!  I used to spend SO much money on make up… and I just don’t anymore… because I never wear it… because children suck your will to live and you realize that the amount of concealer needed to cover the bags under your eyes is just ridiculous, and you’re just going to sweat it off anyway.   Top knots are “in” while in my 20s it was called “I haven’t washed my hair in 3 days and this is all it will do”.  You reflect on how amazing your friends are (mostly because you only get to see them once a month).  They also give zero fucks and nobody is trying so hard to impress one another anymore because we are just trying to survive and find the purest joy when we get to shower without the entire family staring at you while you awkwardly try to shave your legs without showing them where babies really come from.

I have never been more confident and comfortable within my own self.  Everything I do, now, is because I truly love to do it, and not because I feel like I have to.  That’s the beauty of the 30s.  So you 20s people… enjoy your oodles of free time, getting away with eating late and your contouring (which I still don’t know how that even works).  Because as you pass me in the store and wondering why I would wear a stained tank top in public and wonder why I smell… just remember… You’ll be 30 one day, too… and you won’t give a fuck either.

And FYI – the photo was taken 20 mins into Cori crying because I wouldn’t get up to go get the iPad for her.