No Nap Zone

IMG_0199.JPGThis is the week my kid stopped napping.  I say week with the mindset that all you moms out there will understand.  Our kids often go through spells of nap protests, but they typically resume normal behavior soon enough… HA!… couldn’t even type that with a straight face.  But that one week… those few days where you have to stop and realize… holy shit… it’s really over.  You crack the wine a smidge too early and pour a little out for all the lost quiet time that you previously relished.

You wave goodbye to all the laundry you weren’t going to do anyway.  You say “Sayonara!” to the Real Housewives, Blacklist and other adult television that you usually watch during this time because you can’t stay awake long enough to watch it in real time.  You kiss goodbye the time you could be reading or working on your book, because there it is… asking questions, crying not to eat, crying not to clean up their mess… or just crying for no reason…which is pretty much always.

This week for me went by quickly…we didn’t even have a proper send off.  I frantically cleaned and grocery shopped preparing for our party to celebrate Cori’s recovery.  I didn’t mind too much the lack of down time because I didn’t really have much of it to begin with… this week.  We had a couple of days of bad weather so when this “down time” did present itself, I didn’t mind watching Zootopia 4 times in a row.  I didn’t realize what was happening.  Maybe the storm was that note of impending doom… the warning that I missed or ignored.  But here we are.

Luckily the other, chubbier one, is still going strong.  Napping beautifully and long enough that when she cries I don’t quite feel my skin crawling like when the older one does.

There’s always a tradeoff, you see.  Always.  That higher power will never let you just have an easy breezy time parenting, I think it has to do with that whole Adam and Eve story but I didn’t really pay attention in catechism so you’ll have to Google for more info.  But I see now, that I gained her finally (at least) peeing the potty in exchange for no naps.  Fair enough… I would rather her be fully potty trained, but I get that I may have a little more penance to do than the average mom.  I traded a fully healed leg for a restless, napless threenager who has the emotional stability of a PMS’ing high schooler… on some type of uppers.  And for some reason, my normally great eater has begun fasting.  Not for Lent either… just to be an asshole.

I listened to her attempts at negotiating number of bites with her dad last night a solid 30 minutes into dinnertime while giving the other a bath and began a short and sweet meditation while the water filled the tub.  IMG_9869.JPG

I used to pride myself on how well my kids ate, but I often leave out the time in which it takes for them to eat.  I am positive the sun moves across the sky during meals.  She’s the slowest eater I’ve ever known.  It’s maddening.  But I try to pick my battles because I’d rather that she eat slow and well, than fast and bad.  Meaning, she will eat a cupcake faster than I can peel the wrapper… gets that from her mama.

Excuses include:

“I have a mouth!”  – meaning her mouth is full.  Which normally is fine, but that’s the same bite for 45 minutes ago.

“I’m singing!”  – yes, we watch TV during most meals.  Sue me.

“I have to pee pee!”  – Oh yes, I’m aware of the glory that is her actually telling me she needs to go now, but it’s always conveniently placed during times in which I desperately need her to be doing something else.  Namely, eating a meal.

“I need more ketchup!”  – Well, if you hadn’t eaten ONLY the ketchup and picked the melted cheese off the turkey… you’d still be enjoying both with the actual food, but who am I to dampen your digestive creativity.

Yes I am aware that all of those ended in exclamation points, that’s because she’s always yelling at me.  Cori has 2 volume levels: one being a decibel that is so low and squeaky I can compare it to a soft spoken dolphin and the other being deafening.  That one is typically used during meal time or when mommy already has a headache/hanging on to the final shreds of sanity allotted for the day.IMG_9496.JPG

This week was not bad, however.  But challenging?  I find myself having to adjust, yet again, to another wrench being through into this machine.  I am desperate to work more on my book and it’s becoming more difficult to get back in a groove when I’ve forgotten a lot of details of what I’ve written previously.

My mantra is “September 5th” for that is when she begins school.  It’s only 2 days a week and only for 3 hours at a time, but I know it will give me some kind of peace.  The chunk will sleep during this time and I will write more then.  Much more.

All the words.

Until then, I will count down the hours until Daddy gets home and somehow saves the day.  Or pours a generous glass of wine.  Or both.