Finding Strength in the Balance

IMG_5556.JPGI woke up this morning still going over in my head what I should discuss in my blog today.  Sometimes my ideas come quickly and roll through my fingertips with ease, others need a little more thought… today was a mix of the two.  I smoothed my hair that’s finally growing back after having Diem and began to prepare breakfast for the girls when I get a text from my girlfriend.  This text changed my entire mood (don’t feel bad, I know you’re going to but I needed this for many reasons).  I was going to mention it’s 10 days until Cori gets her cast off and smiled at them playing together quietly, and talk more about a conversation with my girlfriend over my book, but…

First, let’s go back to the election (and no I’m not getting into politics…well not really). But this was probably one of the most emotional and trying times within family, friends and the country in general.  It seems everything was and still is so divided and frankly, it’s mind numbing to continue reading such negativity, but aside from that let me say this… No, I don’t think this president will be taking rights from women.  I think that’s silly to assume… minorities, I can understand the concern but women as a whole… no.  I’ll get to the why in a minute.

Now, yesterday while I was deciding between organic bell peppers and the genetically modified ones at Whole Foods, I get a call from another of my friends who just finished reading my book and had some extremely uplifting things to say about it.  I roamed the store longer than necessary because I was enjoying her feedback and wasn’t ready to hang up and check out my purchases.  I love when another person completes it and has such amazing feedback because it’s so important to me that people I respect, love it, because (in my mind) that makes me one step closer to my goal of getting it published while giving me that boost of confidence to continue writing and perfecting my writing.

I was still riding that high this morning.  Through the scrambled eggs, through begging my child to finish the eggs, through washing the dishes and making my to-do list for the day when I get the text.  I’ll leave the link here for you to see for yourself what we (as women) still have to put up with.  Now I don’t know how true this article is, but it’s sad to be reminded that women ever had to go under anyone other than themselves just to get a book deal.

http://www.newsinfo.ml/2017/01/gender-bias-in-publishing-revealed-by.html?m=1

So here is where my mind complicates things…

No – I do not think women are ‘losing’ any rights.  Frankly, I like the ‘old school’ way of things in a sense.  I think if men stopped holding doors for the fairer sex and stopped buying roses on Valentine’s Day, a lot of ladies out there would be pissed off and a lot of men would be sleeping on the couch.  We put a double standard on ourselves.  I worked (because I did do that before popping out some ridiculously adorable kids) in an industry where it was male dominated.  And yes, there was that feeling of ‘just sit and look pretty’ and I did notice that to be respected, you almost had to be a bitch.  And that comes with it’s own snickers and glares… but I never felt like this was a ‘woman’ thing.  Society puts stupid rules and dynamics on itself.  Races treat each other differently, women do it, men, blue collar, white collar, short, tall…WE ALL DO IT!  Yes, you, even you who marched for women last week – you do it too in some way.  People are insecure and we cling to what makes us feel powerful or unique or intelligent.  We have trouble being comfortable enough in our own skin to accept that someone else may feel or think differently.  We should absolutely stand for what we believe in, but make sure you fully understand what you’re arguing about before doing it.  We are already equal, what we need to say is we want more recognition and acknowledgement for our work.  Open minds find solutions, closed minds find problems.

But I digress…

The point of this post: I have put everything into my book.  I have poured into this more of ‘me’ than anything else in my life… aside from my family of course.  I am confident about it and proud of it and that says a lot coming from me… I’ve never been either of those things about myself, ever.

So as I read this article… it really just disheartens me for a couple of reasons.  No, I’m not angry per se.  I’m not about to put on a vagina hat and march the streets.  What I WILL do… is keeping fucking pushing.  Pardon my french.  I’m going to keep reading for inspiration, writing for my soul and I WILL find an agent/publisher who wants me.  Not John Doe, ME.  Aimee Pinard.  A woman who wrote a book, a damn good one too.  I do believe there are careers better suited for men over women and vice versa, but this one?  NO. No offense Stephen King or Dan Brown…. but men don’t have a monopoly on creativity and words.  Heavy lifting? Sure.  Anything to do with science and numbers? (Speaking for myself) You got it dude.  But this… nope!  And it’s embarrassing to think that we might have women on the other side, still mostly pursuing the male voice.   Even if it was actually a woman.  However, I do need to mention that agencies want different things at different times and this may confuse a writer (male or female).  It’s a very topsy turvy world and writers have to learn a great deal of patience as they wait for the correct timing and meeting the right agent or publisher at that time.

I will sit on the shelf with Liane Moriarty, Jodi Picoult, Gillian Flynn and Alice Sebold and we will be ‘equal’ without slapping a man in the face with our tampons.  And I will do it in a way that makes my girls not have to do it later… hopefully.  And I want to get this all done because of my work, not BECAUSE I’m a woman, but because it’s just a great read and sparks something in the reader than makes them want more of what I have to say.

With that said, here is my latest recipe.  That I created because my husband is sick and still going to work feeling like shit.  Some of you think of this as “submitting”,  but I call it loving and respecting because when I was crying into a bag of Chick Fil A a couple weeks ago, he came home from work and helped clean up after dinner and bathed the kids and gave me a foot rub.  Some days things are uneven and sometimes they’re perfectly balanced and that’s life.  In every situation, it’s up to us to find the joy in it.

That’s all my feelings for today!

Turkey, Kale and Sweet Potato SoupIMG_5955-2.JPG

1 lb Lean ground turkey

1 sweet potato, diced

2 Roma tomatoes, diced or 1 can diced tomatoes

1 small bunch of kale, chopped

1 can pinto or white kidney beans, rinsed

2 stalks celery, diced

1 green bell pepper, diced

1 small yellow onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, minced

3 1/2 cups low sodium chicken broth

1 1/2 cups water

2 tsp oregano

1 1/2 tsp thyme

1 tsp paprika

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp cumin

  1. Brown the ground turkey in a dutch oven, season with 1 tsp oregano, 1/2 tsp thyme, 1/2 tsp paprika, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper and 1/4 tsp cumin.  Once cooked, add in the minced garlic and diced onion.
  2. Once onion is opaque, add in the bell pepper, tomato, chicken broth, water, sweet potato, beans and remaining seasonings.  Stir on medium high heat and allow to bubble.  Add in the kale and stir until wilted.
  3. Bright soup to a boil and then reduce heat to simmer for 15-20 mins.