Not a Sh*t Left to Give

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Beginning this process and making the commitment to begin a blog was a mixture of feelings.  Mostly I felt scared of the idea of rejection as I’ve mentioned before.  Rejection from agencies, publishers, readers in general… but most of all, rejection from my peers.  Women in particular.  Which brought forth a question I often ask myself…. Why do women have to be so salty all the damn time!?

We have enough pressures that overwhelm us on a daily basis, and enough judgment to make even the most devout Catholic cringe, than to keep doing this to our own kind!  I, for one, do not give one single iota of a shit about what anyone thinks of my wifing, parenting, housekeeping or otherwise.  I do the things I do because it makes me happy, my family happy and somewhere in there I am left with an ounce of sanity that gets me through to the next day.  I don’t think my life is any more difficult or noteworthy than another woman/mother.  I don’t believe a stay-at-home mom has it any harder than a working mom or vice versa.  I don’t think we need to passive aggressively fight over who is the ‘better woman’, because newsflash…






And really, all the critiquing/criticizing, unsolicited advice, backhanded compliments and one-upping only makes us look insecure, envious and immature.  I don’t know if this comes from caveman days where only the strong survive?  Neighbors Cavewoman A and B had a good thing going until Cavewoman A had to go make a new type of dish with her fish and send Cavewoman B into a blind rage because she didn’t think of it first, so she threw the meal off a cliff to spite A.  Then A got all pissed off and slept with B’s husband.  I mean… I don’t know if that really happened, but I’m sure it’s on Google somewhere.  Regardless!  The point is… it’s got to be exhausting to be this way ladies!  I mean if you’re as happy as your social media claims, just keep trucking along.  Go on your vacations, have babies, or don’t if that’s not what you desire.  Work!  Don’t work.  Be single, married, polygamous, date unicorns… I don’t know what you kids do these day, but whatever makes you happy and potentially successful, DO IT!  And should a friend, relative or peer do something that you think “Damn… I wish I had done that.”  Do that shit too!  Nobody is stopping you, but you.

With all that said… I would like to humbly, very humbly, thank all of those women out there who have taken the time out of their days to send me messages, texts, comments of encouragement and support.  It means so very much coming from you all and I won’t ever be able to put into words how thankful I am.  I am touched by the personal messages I’ve been able to have with a couple of ladies who felt inspired by my ‘bravery’.  Which I have no idea how what I’m doing can be considered, at all, brave, but I’m truly honored that anything I am doing or have said struck something with you that helped you take a big leap of faith in your own life!  I like to think that we can all do this for one another at some point.  It’s an amazing feeling to think I made just one person feel happy by following my dream.

I feel like every time I feel just a pinch discouraged, I get a little voice telling me “No, idiot, be patient and keep pushing!”  But since I have that whole, impatience thing going on, I think my divine intervention has to pop in more often than the average person’s.  Maybe it’s Santa?  Oprah?

I thought about all of this on my 4 1/2 hour drive home, since, well… that’s a long effing time in a car… and I just felt like this post needed to be dedicated to celebrating all women.  Mothers, non-mothers, working women, stay-at-home moms, single moms, divorced moms, old moms, short moms, young professional women ALL of you because we ALL have a weight on our shoulders.  It’s the worst coming from one another, but when you think of it… if your kid has gum in its hair… nobody is thinking, “Why did their father let that child leave the house with gum in its hair!?”  They’re thinking, “What mother would do that!?”  We have to cook the best, look the best, work the best, be intimate the best.  We have to have big boobs (sorry husband), Lucious hair and a clean home… and let’s face it… it ain’t happening.  Not everyday at least.  So instead of killing ourselves to reach this ridiculously high bar… why not lift each other up to get there?  It’s really not that hard and you’ll sleep better at night.  And with those bags under your eyes, you need more than Starbucks and a prayer.

I truthfully have no more shits in my soul to give.  I don’t have TIME to give any more shits if I even had one left.  And if I’m too busy for it, I just KNOW everyone else has got to be.  So let’s all collectively, wine in hand, take a deep breath and be proud of our accomplishments and those yet to come.  Let’s be proud of one another for getting that promotion, keeping our kids alive, not burning dinner and getting to take a shower more than twice in the week.

Because really, being honest with ourselves and with others is so much more refreshing!  The real you is the best you!  So stop being so hard on your damn self and let your freak flag fly!  Wave that shit around!

Now… while you mull over that and enjoy my more ‘serious’ thoughts – here is a fun recipe we like.  I like to make them when we’re truly exhausted but don’t want to eat out.  Which definitely fit today since we just got in from visiting family for 5 days!

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4 chicken breasts- diced

1/2 tsp chili powder

1/2 tsp sea salt

1/4 tsp black pepper

1/4 tsp oregano

1/2 tsp onion powder

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1 can whole kernel, no salt added corn

1 jar roasted red bell pepper (I use Mezzetta – if you get the taller jar, use half/smaller jar, use the whole thing)

1 can low sodium black beans

1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

1 clove garlic, minced

1/2 tsp onion powder

1 tsp chili powder

1/2 tsp cumin

Pinch of red pepper flakes

1/4 tsp oregano

1 bag chips (I use the white corn chips from Whole Foods, but the multigrain Tostitos scoops are good too)

1 bag 2% milk Mexican cheese blend

  1. In a skillet, cook diced chicken in the first 6 seasonings.  Once it’s cooked, set aside.
  2. Place the bell pepper all the way down to the oregano into a food processor and blend until is liquid – you can leave it chunky if you like.  I just prefer it to be more of a sauce.  Place this in a saucepan and heat on medium until it begin to bubble and then lower the heat.  Let it simmer a couple minutes and done.
  3. Heat the corn in a small sauce pan or you can pour it in with the chicken to heat.
  4. Pour some chip in a bowl, pour the sauce over, then chicken/corn and then top with some cheese… chives if you’re fancy and DONE.

A fairly healthy meal in 20 mins!