Growing up, I feel like I was forever anticipating the day I became an ‘adult’ because THEN I wouldn’t have to deal with all this waiting. I wouldn’t have to wait to drive, because I’d be an adult and I’d already know how. I wouldn’t have to wait until the weekend to see friends when it’s a school night. I wouldn’t have to wait until after dinner for dessert, because I’d be the adult and I can eat whenever the hell I want! (That part is actually pretty awesome, but I’m fairly certain I’m still not an adult). I wouldn’t have to deal with any of that nonsense waiting around because I’d be the one making the rules! I mean, that’s how it happens, right?!
We all become adults, yes, but then we quickly realize we are still answering to someone else. A partner, a boss, the kids… someone is still ALWAYS telling you what to do and when to do it and I find myself spending my entire day waiting for something.
Waiting for someone to wake up so I can run errands and then wait for them to fall back asleep so I can recharge my sanity.
Waiting for Grey’s Anatomy to come back from winter break so I can start living life again.
Waiting for my husband to find his keys so we can finally leave the house.
Waiting for an agent to tell me that I’m brilliant and they want me!
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
Now, I’m not a patient person. Not in the least. If you know me personally, you are most likely rolling your eyes right now in agreement. Which I guess is why I continue trying to find things to keep my mind busy, otherwise I would be neurotically refreshing my email (which I still kinda do) and annoying my husband and friends… actually still kinda do that too… about the whole thing. I have oodles of patience with my kids, which is probably one of those ‘motherly instinct’ thingamajigs but literally EVERYTHING else, I will work myself up over. I’m sure there’s some type of therapy needed but really, who has time for that? Not me! I’m way too busy annoying everyone else about my impatience, so there’s really no sense of urgency to fix it. Hopefully all of my worrying will amount to a book deal and then I can feel a teensy bit justified. I like to think of it as determination. If only I could be more like my oldest. She is all about waiting!
“You need to take a bath, Cori.”
– Five minutes!
“You need to go potty.”
– Five minutes!
“It’s time for bed!”
– Ten minutes!
If only these agents knew how awesome my story is! If only my email popped into view as they sipped their morning coffee and they were so taken with the title that they HAD to click. They then become so entranced that they immediately had to contact me for the remainder of the manuscript because they needed to know what happened next! Wishful thinking. These people receive hundreds, if not more, queries a week and I’m just one measly little writer from the middle of nowhere with no previous published works to compare to. It’s an incredibly disheartening realization. I’ve never been the type of person who “stands out” in the crowd so it’s difficult for me to feel super confident now when I know there are some pretty amazing writers out there with equally amazing stories, if not better stories than mine.
So, here I am, waiting and praying to stand out while I spend a lovely weekend getting my hair done so I don’t feel like a haggard mess (shoutout to the baby daddy for watching the kids!) and making a delicious pot roast so I feel useful until I finally receive the one word that will determine my future as a writer. Rejection is a rough thing. Nobody gets ‘used’ to it, we all still get that twinge of embarrassment. And lucky for me, I decided to share my journey so when I DO get another rejection email, which I most likely will, I’ll get to let everyone know! Can’t wait! So exciting!
But, what I do know, is I will KEEP waiting. Still impatiently, but with a purpose. Luckily I have a pretty awesome support system and a husband who all have adult sized patience levels who listen to me and feed me wine and chocolate. I will keep waiting because one day, there will be a yes among all the no’s and it will be all the more worth it. I picture it like I’m sure people picture their acceptance speeches when they’re nominated for an award… “I’d like to thank the academy!”
So as we all wait together to see if the cool kids invite me to sit at their table – here is what we had over the weekend!
1 chuck roast
1 tbsp salt
1-2 tsp pepper
1 tbsp cornstarch
2 tbsp water
2 large or 3 small red potatoes – cute into 1 inch cubes
3 stalks celery – diced
3 medium sized carrots – peeled and cut into half inch slices (or small bag of baby carrots)
1/2 yellow onion, diced
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp rosemary
1 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 tbsp Worcestershire
1/2 cup chicken broth
- Whisk together the cornstarch and water and leave in the bottom of the crockpot. Place half the veggies over this mixture.
- Coat roast in salt and pepper on all sides.
- Mix together the soy sauce, Worcestershire and chicken broth and set aside.
- Place chuck roast on top of the veggies and pour half of the liquid mixture into pot. Mix the rosemary, thyme and garlic powder and sprinkle about half over and around the roast and veggies.
- Pour remaining veggies over the roast along with the sauce. Sprinkle remaining spices and turn crockpot on low for 8 hours or high for 6.