Publish or Bust

Where do I begin? I guess I should start by introducing myself, I say guess because I’m a socially awkward person and introductions usually are easier for me when I’ve had a glass or two of wine to ease my fears of rejection. However, it’s 12:45 in the afternoon and I’m fitting this burst of courage into the short gap of time where my children are actually asleep at the same time and I’m choosing to ignore the laundry.

My name is Aimee and I’m pushing 30, knocking on it’s door (no issues with that at all. None. Totally fine about it. Really though. I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything is FINE) and I have 2 beautiful little kiddos. Girls – Yikes! Aged 1 and 3 (36 months for the moms that still do that shit). I am a stay-at-home mom so as you can imagine, my days are full of mani/pedis, lifetime movies and lattes. HA!…not so much. I stay home to raise the heathens. I do the fun housework, teach my kids to do shit and cook/bake (really love that). Some days are amazing, some make me want to list all the kids on eBay but most days fall somewhere lovingly in between.

Let me add that I am sitting on a Bachelors in Communications that my father reminded me of when I decided to stay home but considering the man likes to greet the FedEx guy in his Santa boxers, we’ll let that slide.

After moving to Louisiana for my fiancé’s job, I started a job and then we got engaged, got married, had a baby and then 5 years, 2 kids, 2 houses and all the other stuff that happens in life, later, here I sit. But more to the point – I wrote a book because back in college I had a professor who encouraged me to finish what started out as a 10-page script.  I didn’t have the courage or tools to start that kind of project.  I was waitressing and could barely find the ambition to wash my hair on a daily basis.

Then one day this Summer, I’m talking to my girlfriend and we are discussing our common interest in writing, but both have kids and stay home and keep so busy we didn’t think it was realistic to be so selfish as to have an actual goal that was just about US and didn’t really involve the family we have dedicated ourselves to for the last several years. So we made a pact – If I went forward with my ridiculous dream, she would too and we would support one another and make sure we found a way to find that happy medium between wifery, mom and homemaker. Five months later, I sit on over 60,000 words and have sent my Query (a query – for those of you non-writers – is basically a one-page email or letter describing your book, who you are and why you want that agency) to 7 agencies. Lucky 7? That’s to be determined. We are nearing Christmas so I figured I would start there and see how things went as a trial run, and if nothing by January – I’d try some more.

Three weeks later, I’ve received 3 rejection emails. All very polite, but all No’s. I prepared myself for this, and I told myself that my goal was to finish the book, and if by some miracle I’m published, then that gets bonus points. But now that I’ve finished it, and I’m actually proud of it – one of the few works I’ve ever done that I have 100% confidence in – I want to get published. SO, here I am with my 3 rejection emails – humiliated and feeling pretty craptastic when I remind myself… I started this for me, however I want to show my girls that I did something pretty cool to make them proud of me. If I quit now, then what does that show them? I don’t want a pat on the back for writing a book that will sit in a file on my laptop – I want it in print. With an acknowledgements page and my photo describing all the boring details of me on the back page. Instead of crying (which I haven’t yet, much to my very own surprise) I decided to tack on another fun ‘to-do’ for myself.

Start a blog! Because clearly I enjoy rejection and putting myself in a vulnerable position to be judged and criticized (NOT- I actually hate that and it gives me anxiety) but I’m OCD and once I start something I want to do it right, well and finish it. I guess I’m maturing as I’m almost 30. I was way more carefree in my younger years.

It’s been incredibly fun so far… as well as scary, stressful, exciting, disheartening (very disheartening) but I’m proud of myself for still being able to juggle our life. I’m “house manager” afterall! *Wink*Wink*. So please follow, tell your friends to follow – or anyone who is going through this process as well. I will be discussing my journey to publish while raising kiddos, being a supportive and loving wife and occasionally some recipes that we enjoy as requested by some of my awesome friends!

I lust after this journey of life ❤